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If I Knew Then



He entered the classroom early morning and as he saw me sitting on the first bench, a slight irritation appeared on his face. I wasn't upset with his actions as he seldom said, 

"You despise me!". 

This was not the first time his body language expressed annoyance but on many occasions had he confessed his disapproval towards me.




As he approached near without any greeting, he threw away his bag pack and thundered outside the room as fast as he could. 

Sometimes, I would introspect that I must have caused him an undesirable pain due to which he presented to me his rude and impolite gestures. My classmates often said that he had no interest in me and that he wanted to sit beside Nisha, his best friend but the class teacher instructed him to sit beside me for a month.Well,it was a rule to be followed by every student and at the beginning of the next month the partners would change.

Perhaps I still remember the sadness on his face that day, how betrayed he seemed. Nonetheless, I kept my emotions at bay and was amiable towards him so that he didn't feel alone.After all,we were now bench mates.We had no choice but to share our bench and still pretend being unfamiliar to each other.

Two weeks had passed but the tension between us was visible to everyone.One day, he couldn't resist the frustration and asked the class teacher to change his partner.However, the class teacher disregarded his plead and asked him to come after a week.Oh,the desolated feeling in his eyes was very much visible but again I had no role to play.

I saw him suffering for two weeks, the pain penetrated in his eyes as if I were an unbearable sight.

Before he would come back, I went over to the class teacher who had just arrived and requested her to replace me with Nisha.The teacher agreed instantly as the month had finally ended.

While he came back for the first period, he saw Nisha sitting beside his bag.His eyes began to search for me among his friends and other peers.Finally, he saw me sitting at the left corner of the last bench next to the window pane.But what I observed was a sinking dejected face.This was not the expression I was expecting, on the contrary I presumed he would be ebullient to see Nisha beside him.

The bell rang and a student from another class came in announcing that a teacher's meeting was going on so the class would be a proxy class.The students in the class were elated with this news.

After a while, my friend Aditya arrived who was also my new bench mate. Sitting beside me, he laughed gently and then with a whispering tone said,

"May be you are not aware of the fact that Rohit has fallen for you"

In astonishment, I looked at Aditya, my eyes expressing horror,my hands and feet motionless.What was going on,what did I just hear, I had no idea at all.

Trying to regain my calm, I asked in vain, 

"When did this happen and why did he behave as if I were his enemy?"

He said with a chuckle, 

"He liked you but when you became his bench mate, he was afraid if you came to know about his feelings"

"But Aditya, I always had a soft corner for him!" I cleared my throat.

" Great! Two lovers sitting next to each other and yet unknown as strangers!" Aditya chuckled again

"If I knew then, I would have never requested the class teacher to change my seat " I said feeling defeated by my impulsive decision.

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