The Feeling Pen

When she wanted your attention, you were busy giving someone else your attention.  When she wanted you, you neglected her and pretended like she never existed. When she called you, you rejected and skipped her calls. When she texted you first, you only replied then.  When she was the first one to call, you didn't appreciate her confidence. When she confessed her feelings, you pretended like she was a desperate woman wanting relationship like anything.  Yes, you as a guy were never the one to call or text her first as you didn't have the guts to do that while she did. You never complimented her when she truly looked beautiful but kept it in the recesses of your heart. You never proclaimed your love or affections for her.  You denied her the love, the attention, the respect, the time and efforts she kept waiting for so long. You treated her like a piece of crap. You never truly loved her for if you did, you would have never denied your feelings for her at the first

I know you want to leave this earth as soon as possible, just because you have failed miserably in fulfilling your dream. I know you imagine yourself not waking up anymore. Before you sleep you imagine how you will never wake up again. I know you create fantasies where there are none. You want to believe that at least there's someone in this world who cares for you even when you know there's no one. I know you want to believe in the fact that you are not alone but your mind doesn't lead you astray. It takes you to the time where you feel unwanted all the time. I know you want to live in a world where there's no suffering, no pain, no struggle, no depression, no anxiety, in fact nothing at all but you know that kind of world doesn't exist in reality.  Reality is unbearable as hard as it may be to accept.  I know you want to wake up every morning thinking that finally today is the day you will be famous, wanted, loved, admired and adored. You truly wait fo

To those who think life is over now, just because they lost one opportunity, I am here to say, don't bend down now, there are many more opportunities that will show up. It's not the end. To those who feel that they have got nothing to live up to, I am here to say that why don't you look ahead and watch out for the things that wait for you, I bet there is sunshine ahead just behind the dark shadow of clouds. Behind the darkness is a little glimmer of hope that is waiting for you. To those who think that they waited for this one golden opportunity for so long and lost it now, I am here to say, may be that thing wasn't meant for you. No doubt, so much time has been wasted but may be you shouldn't overlook the fact that you have learnt something out of this tragedy. Something better, is waiting for you in few baby steps, don't bend down now. To those who think that life is unfair to you and much privileged to others. May be, right now you are living in

Sometimes you may not understand why your life is working in a wrong direction or may be to you it seems to be in a wrong direction. You have unfortunately decided to walk on a path which has been left barren by many. It's not the road you were supposed to tread on. It wasn't the road that people were suggesting to walk upon. Many told you to leave this path, for they were skeptical if it ever will bring fame or luck or glory. For the road you have decided to walk upon so willingly is based on these factors. You may want to rely on these factors for a long time lest no one will know who you are or where you are walking to. Yes, this is the road, you have decided to walk on. The road people are afraid to choose, worse they remain dubious their whole lives if ever fortune shall land in their lives. And yet, knowing the repercussions or  the impossibility of it, few dare to walk on this road. This road which no one has taken before. A road you too are afraid to choose. It c

I was walking alone in my dream with a heavy knapsack on my back. The road was barren as if no one had been to this place for a long time. Out of nowhere, in the middle of the empty, deserted road, a monk joins me. He smiles at me as he walks along with me. I have no idea from where he comes from. Perhaps, I was so much exhausted and dehydrated due to the scorching heat of the summer that I did not see him coming. In the middle of my occupied thoughts, he breaks my silence and asks, "What do you see?"  I look at him wide eyed. What does he mean by this ridiculous question? Ever since he had joined me, he had been acting weird. Again, he presses the question with a gentle smile, "What do you see in front of you?"  "I see nothing" I said, in annoyance. "Look again my child, what do you see ahead?" The monk says again with an unbending smile. This time, I take notice of his question and look ahead. There, I study the nature in brief silence a

Everyday when you wake up in the morning, what's the first thing that pops in your mind? Is it why am I here? What am I doing? Why was I born? Why the hell do I wake up every morning and feel nothing?  Is it so because you don't know what's your life purpose? Well, probably it could be. When you don't know why you are here in the first place, there is going to be uncertainties in your life. Not one but many. And, to your dismay, things might turn out worse as you don't have any vision for your life.  It's important to understand that one needs to have a dream, a goal or a vision of how they want their life to be.  This all starts from your interest. Have you often thought where your interest lies? Do you feel the need to cure people and relieve them from diseases? A Doctor? Do you have the urge to help and look after others? Be a Philanthropist? Do you get in a trance every time you are surrounded by music and melodies? A Musician?  What is your p

You may have noticed that negative people and negative events always hamper your life. And, well, not just life it proves to be like a rust that is not ready to leave you at any cost. Rust brings nothing but staleness in our lives.  When you live around negative people all the time, you know how it juxtaposes your energy field from positive to negative and vice versa. You are being affected by the environment hugely and these constant fluctuations does nothing but creates havoc and chaos into our lives. You are now severely affected by the collision of two energies; positive and negative. There is no balance that can be created as the outer energy is overpowering your state of mind and life, eventually controlling your day. Not a day goes by when you try to create a smooth balance between your inner soul and your existing environment, that more negative things get attracted to you. It starts with one negative thing, such as an argument, a fight over a small issue, a misundersta

We always live in future as if living in the future is the only way to deal with our reality in present. We think about the time when we will get married or when our prince charming would come or sweep us off of our feet. Where is my Cinderella? Why is she taking so long to come! When will my results come out? My god! This stress is killing me! I'm not even able to enjoy my vacations because of this stress! When will I finally look like a hero or heroine? When, when and when! This when makes us stick to our future all the time! We don't enjoy our present. We don't take the benefit or pleasure in present. Everything that pops up into our mind is related only to our future life. We have become so futuristic that now we only envision our life in future and the present holds no importance to us anymore. It's always the when and the how and the future. Firstly, we tend to do that because we are not happy with our present. Second of all, we think that living in future wi

When you'll stop thinking about how people will react or what people will think, that's the time, you will truly begin living your life. When you will not care whether they are going to talk behind your back or spread rumors and even if they do, none of it matters to you because you have started giving importance to yourself, peace of mind will automatically come to you. When you really don't care about others harsh opinions and only your work and life is your main priority, your life will fall into place. When even if someone says to you in your face that you are undeserving or unworthy of this thing, you know they are saying only to make you feel small but it affects you the least.  The day people's opinions don't matter to you at all, that's the day you will truly start living your life. Your main goal of your life will be your career and no one would come in your way, knowing that they cannot disrupt your peaceful life without you being affected int

When you don't love yourself, you do not appreciate anything in your life including the people and the things you have. Albert Einstein said, "Nothing happens until something moves". The question is, are you willing to make a move and love yourself? Are you willing to accept who you are including the flaws you have? Are you willing to change your life? If yes, then my friend you have come to the right place and I am here to make you fall in love with yourself. You must have noticed that when people love you and you don't receive the love back with equal affection or don't return their love, they simply block you from their life or walk out from your life. And then you feel that nobody loves you, that you are alone, you feel lonely and you think people don't love you. This life of misery continues until you realize that you are the one who was blocking out all the love from outside because you didn't have love within you. What I would like to

When they say you can't do it, push yourself ahead and prove to yourself that you can do it so that you feel proud of it. When you feel opposition from other side, belittling and teasing about how you are a loser, don't listen to them instead find ways to be the master of your own destiny. When they say that you are dumb or broke or unemployed, don't waste your energy on them, find the joy to live your life, work hard in your profession or career so that tomorrow you are amazed by your own successful life. When they say that you have a useless idea, nevertheless try it, see why it can work and if it doesn't work, may be you'll find some other idea or some inspired action to do that will create a miracle in your life. When they say you are illiterate or you don't have the money for education, find ways to study, go to library and study, find second hand books to study, there are always solutions to every problem. When they say you will fail don't t

Sometimes, things will not happen the way we planned it out to be and you will feel bad because of that occurrence. Don't recall that experience. There is always something better that's coming your way, for your good. Sometimes, there will be some nasty people who will interfere in your life because they want to, not because they want to help you or guide you. They are insecure to see you happy in your life and want to create a feeling of unworthiness and uselessness in you. Do not give undue attention to them. In fact, feel pity for them that they can't see their lack of self love in their lives. Sometimes, there will be people in your life who would want to desperately pull you down, make you feel as if you are good for nothing. Don't fall for that trap. They do that so that they can swap away all the good vibes you generate around you and replace it with bad vibes. Don't curse them, don't badmouth. They can't see that they are living a life full of u

I want you to know that when you feel let down by your situation, there is always another opportunity to cease in your life that will make you forget about the situation altogether. I want you to know that when at nights, you are reminded of the old memories that make you feel like you are in prison, its time to break free yourself and live in the present so that you never dwell in your past. I want you to know that there may be times when you feel that your life is over and that you have nothing to lose but that's not the reality, there is much more to see, look beyond your observation and you will find roads where there was once nothing. I want you to know that when you feel that you don't have the strength to continue the struggle in your life, compare your past with your present and you will know how far you have reached. I want you to know that in life nothing is same, every minute, every hour brings up new things to our lives and we need to keep our eyes wide ope

There are times when you feel lonely and unwanted because you had been giving attention to someone who considered you unimportant.  There are times you feel exhausted because you had been chasing someone who wasn't ready to give you the respect that you had been yearning from them all the time. There are times you know you wanted them so bad that you felt you would die but they are not giving you any signal, leave alone right or wrong. There are times you want them to know how much you love them, that your love is unmatched, immeasurable and that it cannot be compared with anyone and yet they are blind to notice anything. There are times you see them in your dreams and you want them to know how much you care for them, for every little thing but they act like its none of their business. There are times when you feel you have waited for them too long, that more than that could kill you from within enormously but they know nothing about this feeling. There are times you d

Often times, we give priority to others. Self-love is considered as being narcissistic and egoistic. When you give love to yourself, you don't become selfish, you are giving yourself the value which no one else will ever give. But people consider both the terms same. Forget about what others think. When you need to put on weight or shed some weight, you are doing that for yourself, not for others, but because you want to truly feel beautiful within.  When you love singing even if your voice cracks, you are doing that because there is no satisfaction to you when you sing in an orderly way. It's just the way you like to sing.  When you dance in a crazy way in your room, you do that for yourself. When you focus on your career first even if it demands others attention, you do that because it gives a sense of purpose to your life. It doesn't mean you are being ambitious or selfish. It's your passion, your joy which you love! So why do you care what people will say

When I ask you, where are you now? It matters. Where you are is the time when you can create your own world. You can live your life the way you want, you can quit working that job that burns out your energy, you can come back home and start your life from a scratch, you can decide to climb the mountains instead of doing those old chores you don't want to do anymore. Yes, it absolutely matters where you are at present. This is your chance to make your sand castle and turn your dreams into a reality. Stop relying on others to help you. Help yourself. I know you have been dying to visit that dream destination so chalk out ways to get there or make plans how you would get there. Do not let any negative thought affect you. Yes, you can do it. You can create a life you have always wanted in your dreams. Let that dream become a reality. Start working on that dream and find out ways where you can reach your destination.  You know that when you go on a road trip, you always find signbo

A few days ago, I was going through a hard time. Well, everyone goes through that phase once. I too had it. While I was wandering in my own world, I met my old friend whom I hadn't seen for a while. He's very sweet and kind. He looked at me with concern asking why was I so dead. I, without waiting for him to say anything further, started telling him how I was suffering in my life and that the struggle was real.  He smiled at me and narrated how his day had turned out to be a complete roller coaster ride. He had to deal with so many things at once and yet I couldn't see a freckle or tension lines on his forehead. On the contrary, he was at peace. I wondered how could he be so calm. While I was listening to him carefully, he carried on talking. He said that my problem was, I was living in future. I was thinking about all the things I didn't have now because of which I was hopeful and fearful for the future. I would try to understand his philosophy. It wasn't diff

You read the title right sweetheart! And that is why you are here. Let's not begin late and share our stories where we have all done all kinds of silliest, stupid stuff to get the attention of our crush.  A few days back, my friend shared her story with me about how she had actually braved an act to get the attention of her crush. She was in school and had eyes on a super hot guy in her class. During the maths class, the teacher was asking if everyone had completed their homework. Those who had submitted to the teacher would sit in the class and those who didn't would stand outside the class. She was about to stand up and give her book, when she saw him walk outside the class. Instead of submitting the book, she handed it to her bench partner to hide it in her bag and followed him. The entire period she got the chance to talk to him. This is how she had braved it all for her crush. Now she laughs thinking about it! I remember, I too had done a silly stuff long time ago. Wh

Early this morning my dear friend called me, saying, her class got cancelled and that she and I can go out for a hang out. I nodded in agreement, excitedly, looking forward to the outing. She rung the bell around twelve and I came out of my home happily to receive her. Then she would press the lift button and we began discussing over which place would be ideal for relaxing in this unbearable heat.  Our cab arrived in time and with that I began to click selfies, some with myself and others with her and simultaneously posted on my whatsapp story.  She was enjoying her time looking outside the window.I caught her gaze and asked why she wasn't interested in clicking pics with me and she wouldn't answer anything, barely smiling at me and then looking outside again. As we sit down at the table, after few minutes, I indulge in clicking photos of the cold coffee being served, the ambience around us and then again with my friend. She wouldn't say no to me but also not smile dur

It's a laid back Sunday morning. I look at my phone and the time shows 11 a.m. I open my laptop thinking of spending my good time watching some web series. The search engine opens and with that my mind changes within a fraction of second. Then I turn to YouTube and the home page opens up and my eyes fall on the right side where it's written Akbar Birbal stories and something like that.  That takes me back to the time when I was a child and I would love reading stories related to Akbar Birbal during summer break. I would exhaust my eyes until my stomach felt like bursting up as I would laugh and enjoy all the stories along the way. It was such a beautiful time. I wish now, I could rewind all the memories attached to it.  The best part about these stories were, you could learn a great deal from them. Every story would have a moral at the end that would make you learn something from it. Interestingly, all the stories were about how local people or anyone respectable would

You are going to find everyone saying this endless times, do what you love, what you like and so on. But when you come to think of it, you wonder, what exactly are people trying to say? I'll do things that I love, hmm..okay! Is it the passion you are talking about? Well, yes! I'm not going to tell you what you must do that make you feel overjoyed as you are doing the things. But I can only tell that to do things that you love, you need motivation from within. We all love to do the things that make us happy, but after some time our focus gets distracted and boredom sets in. It happens with all of us. So why does it happen? why do we get bored and distracted from the things we love?  It happens because we are no more disciplined; that knack of experimenting new things seems like a long gone era and now we either don't pay attention to it or leave it like that. It happened with me initially that when I began learning swimming, I had this zeal to try front stroke, back

They say live life because it's short. I don't think life is short. Ask those people who wake up at 6 in the morning to get ready daily for their job, catch a bus or metro and work the entire eight to nine hours at a stretch, only to get a promotion or a raise, does their life look short? When you are preparing yourself for tenth boards, twelfth boards, undergraduate and then further more education, only to get closer to your goal, does it look short?  When you see your mother, cook daily, look after the house and sleep early at night just to follow the same routine next morning, and feel grateful to be helping you in your dreams, does life look short to her? When you work harder to fulfill your goals, does life remind you like a ticking time-bomb that it's going to explode in any minute? Then how can one justify life as short?  And why to follow this way of life? I believe life is not short. It works according to its pace. There is no specific time limit or di

Summers have commenced! It reminds me of the time when we were kids, waiting desperately for our summer vacations to start. Oh, I still remember the excitement and that thrill of Summer break! I wish I could rewind those days back! Childhood is something you cannot forget. It's timeless, breathless and is a melange of everything; of laughter and bliss and bruises and little sobs. You cannot escape those memories even if you would like to.  It's the onset of March and here I am enjoying a nice cold coffee served with chilled ice. Mmmmm....! I had been missing this froth and holding this icy cold glass! And suddenly it reminds me of vanilla and chocolate ice-creams and everything that's stored in freezer. Of all the cold drinks, I still enjoy 'Nimbu Paani', one of our favourite drinks in my family. I remember when I would return from college, on my way to home, there was this road side stall of Nimbu Paani, I would wait for him to prepare the mixture. He would

When you think, your life is going downhill, you need to stop suffocating and start looking for hope. Hope is something we should hold onto, always. Sometimes, you think that the exciting life is not meant for you but hey! Hold on! Who said that? You have all the worth and power to live a life you dream of. Yes, It's not going to be easy. It needs abundant strength and dedication to win over your weakness. You need to keep working, keep going ahead. Looking back is an option but not staying there. Look forward, try to figure out ways where you can make your life worth living. There may be a thousand reasons to give up but there will be one reason left to have faith. Your hard work never goes wasted. It will give fruitful results, if not now may be later on. Don't wait for it. Keep going, keep working. Just believe. Sometimes, life gives you opportunities only when you look for it, not when you sulk into that feeling of depression.  So rise up, chin up and keep walkin

'Let me go!!!' She begged, as she saw how her luggage's were being thrown back to her room. They wouldn't let her leave so easily. They puffed up their chests, 'You were supposed to study until we get you a suitable groom, It's time, we find one'. She cried, begged, bowed her head, pleaded to let her go to her dream college. But they wouldn't budge. This is the story of Meghana, a young girl who has completed her graduation with good marks but can't pursue her dream college as her father and their brothers are reluctant to send her. They have planned her life and would work accordingly.  Meghana sat in her room in silence. She would neither eat nor sleep. She denied her mother's affection. If her father wasn't ready to let her pursue her dream, she wouldn't budge either. Days passed and it appeared, she had begun to age rapidly. The dark circles under her eyes was an indication that she hadn't had any food. Her father finally fo

There are times when you want to talk to someone yet you find everyone busy. There are times you have the urge to visit that new restaurant which opened right opposite your home but you have no one to accompany you. There are times when you know you are in need of your best friend, but even though you call them innumerable times, they don't pick up your call. Yes, It's true. Right now you feel like an unwanted, lonely person. You have no one to turn to, no one with whom you can share your secrets because they are far away living their own life while you are fretting, ranting, raving and may be crying horribly on your bed or behind the closed door of your bedroom. I can see your pain, I can feel it. I have been there. But I am going to tell you what to do when no one's by your side. First and foremost, learn to be happy when you are alone. I know it may seem weird. You would think, 'How can I be happy when I'm alone?' Of course, you can.  Nobody teaches us

When you are trying to live your life in your own way, there are things that are going to trouble you, at least, initially. It may seem as if you are choking, standing in the middle of nowhere, totally lost. You are looking out for help but you are well aware that the track you have chosen for yourself is unlike others. It's futile asking people's suggestion. They will anyway give their opinion. Reflect upon your path but never give up So what must one do when one feels let down by their own choice?  Simple, fight back but never give up.  Giving up is a sign of cowardice if anything else. You mustn't, I repeat, give up at any cost. Life may seem hard, at present but later on you'll see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Be there where you are, live in the moment. As you know, there are two sides of a coin. You may keep tossing it again and again and the struggle drives you nuts all the more but don't give up. One day, you'll toss the c